


Fondue for Two

by RoaringTurtle



Series: Other Kinds of Quadrilaterals [6]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Dramatic Irony, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Identity Reveal, Its a bidding war AU, One Shot, Post-Relationship Pre-Reveal, but not really, enemies au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25476076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoaringTurtle/pseuds/RoaringTurtle
Summary: Adrien just wanted to win the auction so he could get Plagg the Fondue Fountain. But his fellow auctioneer,FashionistaPrincess01, may be a lot closer than he knows…
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Other Kinds of Quadrilaterals [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798078
Comments: 26
Kudos: 208





	Fondue for Two

“Kid, I’m telling you, if you buy the cheese fountain I will never ask you for anything ever again.” Plagg begged his chosen, “It’s literally been my dream ever since I heard of it!”

“You didn’t even know it existed until Nino’s party!” Adrien thought that a Fondue Party was a kinda niche idea, but Nino managed to pull it off. It was actually a lot of fun, well at least until Plagg got one of his weird cravings. Adrien spent most of that night trying to keep Plagg from swimming in the Cheese Fondue. 

It must have been a little awkward for his girlfriend since he was busy trying to stop that gremlin all night. Luckily Marinette didn’t notice since apparently she was occupied with something too. He was curious but he decided to just let it go since he couldn’t really explain why he was busy exposing his secret identity.

“Does Camembert even melt?” Adrien asked, genuinely curious since he wasn’t sure if it was going to be smooth like the nacho cheese at the fondue party. Melted Camembert sounded like it would be slimy rather than runny.

“I mean if it’s ripe enough,” Plagg corrected, floating lazily around as they walked to his laptop.

“Wait, ripe? Cheese can be ripe?” Adrien asked, which earned him an eye roll. But you use ripe to define fruits, not cheese! It’s a fair question!

“Seriously, what do they even teach you at your University?” Plagg scoffed, “What’s so important about Physics anyways? Cheesemaking is where it’s at!”

Adrien gave a good-natured chuckle while his Kwami went on about the History of Cheese. It was actually somehow interesting, but Adrien already heard this lecture. Besides, it wasn’t like this was the Cheeses of the World Lecture. Now _that_ was an emotional rollercoaster.

Using the marvel of technology known as the internet, he searched for a fondue fountain and eventually found a model that looked like the one at Nino’s Party. It was for chocolate but it worked with melted cheese too, so it was good enough!

If he was still in high school, he would have just ordered the first result online, but he had matured. He was now living alone (well, with his girlfriend but at least he wasn’t living with his father) and was now a frugal genius! He was literally the best at getting all the deals! (Well maybe second best since Marinette was the one who taught him). But for instance, instead of buying it for like 60 euros, he could just buy one slightly used for like 10! (Yeah, it seems people get buyers remorse pretty easily over a piece of extremely impractical cooking ware.) Although _buy_ is a strong word. The better word was bid since it was an online auction.

Apparently, _DJneens_ bought it for a party and really didn’t need that many Fondue pots or fountains once it ended. Personally, Adrien thought he should have rented, but he wasn’t going to complain about a cheap Fondue Fountain. And Plagg deserved a little treat for all the work he did. Plus the only other potential buyer was someone named _FashionistaPrincess01_ , so it didn’t look like the bidding was going to get too hectic.

“You better be thankful for this. Nino was complaining about how much of a pain it was to clean it. I still don’t get why he bought it for just one party. He really should have rented if you ask me…”

“Kid, it’s cute you think there will be _any_ cheese left in that fountain for you to clean.”

The only problem was how to explain to Marinette why he was buying a fondue fountain that he most likely was never going to eat out of since it sounded like Plagg wanted to take Cheese Baths in the thing. That was an image that Adrien didn’t want to focus on for too long, lest it ruins Cheese Fondue for him forever.

His girlfriend was so kind and understanding, she even tolerated his stinky cheese collection for Plagg. But then again she must have understood since she liked to hoard sweets since they reminded her of home at the bakery.

Once the auction started to close he would tell Marinette and at least then he would know the price. And then he would make sure Marinette had the first bite of any Fondue she wanted before Plagg got used to his new personal pool.

* * *

Adrien could feel his headache coming back, and it wasn’t the usual cheese-obsessed one. Well, he was here too.

He turned notifications on his phone for updates on the stupid fondue fountain, and apparently, _FashionistaPrincess01_ was just as annoying as Plagg about winning the fountain. At least she was probably a student too since he really didn’t want to deal with the dumb bidding war during class.

So instead of spending a relaxing evening watching TV, he had to deal with a Kwami who was, for some reason, dead set on this particular fondue fountain.

“I could probably find another one cheaper than this price,” Adrien proposed since the bidding was now around 30 euros.

“Nope! It has to be this one.” Plagg insisted, “Anyways, try doubling her bid. That’ll scare her off for sure!”

“I could buy a new model for 60 euros though!” Adrien tried, but it was like shouting at a brick wall. “Why do you even care about this auction now? You were complaining about getting a used fondue maker earlier.”

“I’m just _saying_ you don’t know where it's been!” Plagg argued, not exactly helping his point on why this specific fountain was so important, “And I can’t tell you because of Ancient Kwami laws. Watch.” Plagg then attempted to say why, but only bubbles came out.

“Alright, I guess I’ll trust you on this, Plagg,” Adrien sighed, since who was he to argue with Ancient Kwami laws (Ignoring all those times in the past when he asked Plagg to tell him Ladybug’s identity. But now he’s happily in love with a wonderful woman so that ship had sailed.)

He had just barely outbid _FashionistaPrincess01_ when Marinette returned to their apartment. But she angrily returned. Like somewhere between the soup accident and the manufacturing incident mad. So basically… not happy, but not as bad as it could be.

“What’s wrong, Mari?” Adrien asked, and it was probably safe since this was no manufacturing incident.

“Nothing, it’s just a jerk on the internet,” Marinette grumbled, tightening her grip on her phone. She took off her shoes and coat to sit down next to him. “I need to recharge. Can I hug you?”

Adrien opened his arms for her because honestly, he needed a break too.

Marinette jumped onto his lap, almost completely relaxed when she was in his arms. Her anger replaced with serenity now that it was only them. (Plagg doesn’t count since he always disappears through the couch whenever they get too ‘sickening’.)

And Adrien thought _FashionistaPrincess01_ was annoying, but Marinette must have had it much worse since she had to deal with all those choosy beggars whenever she sold something from her online boutique.

Adrien wondered what kind of monster could possibly want to bother Marinette. After all, she was so sweet and kind! She always wanted to help others, even if she was totally clumsy when she tried! Adrien cursed the fool who ruined her day. He wished he could help her feel better somehow.

Adrien pressed a kiss on the top of her head, but that earned him a fond headbutt.

* * *

After an Akuma attack, if they had time, Ladybug and Chat Noir tried to comfort the victim. And now that they were adults, they didn’t need to recharge every 5 minutes, which definitely was a huge morale boost for Paris (And Adrien’s Wallet. Camembert is expensive). But even if a good number of Paris had been Akumatized in the past, it wasn’t something you could prepare for. One bad day and all of a sudden you were manipulated into hurting your loved ones. 

“Hawkmoth is the actual worst.” Ladybug grumbled, thinking about the latest Akuma victim they had comforted.

“Is this supposed to be news?” Chat Noir teased, “I thought it was kind of basic knowledge at this point. Or did he finally do something to cross the line this time, like putting pineapple on pizza?”

“You know what I mean,” Ladybug rolled her eyes at Chat’s attempt to lighten the mood, “I just get reminded of his suckiness every time we get an attack. I can’t even imagine what it must be like. I mean, just one bad day and all of a sudden you are forced to do his bidding. When we finally catch him I’m going tie him up with my yo-yo and use him as a punching bag!”

Ladybug seemed pissed at the thought autonomy being snatched away at the whims of a madman. Chat Noir also felt that righteous fury, but he also had a very annoying auction that he was reminded of.

“That seems a _little_ too light for him. I’m still on Team Dunking him in Boiling Acid for the foreseeable future. And speaking of bidding, I got to do something real fast,” Chat pulled out his baton that was connected to his phone through Ancient Kwami Magic, just so he could put another bid on that dumb fondue fountain, “Plagg has been chewing my ear off about winning this stupid auction. I don’t know why he cares so much anyways. He’s definitely going to get bored of that fondue fountain within a week I tell you. I think I might be spoiling him.”

Chat Noir couldn’t really talk about Plagg with anyone other than Ladybug because of identity reasons, so the two of them usually vented about their respective magical gods with each other. And from what Chat had heard, Tikki could be just as unreasonable as Plagg when it comes to food. Apparently, when he was tied up by Antibug, Ladybug had to go out untransformed to free him since Tikki just _had_ to finish her cookie! 

But for some reason, Ladybug was completely silent.

Ladybug’s yo-yo buzzed a few minutes after he confirmed his bid, which was the only movement from Ladybug since she had become frozen when Chat Noir mentioned his shopping list.

“Yo-you’re _Feline_Good_!?” Ladybug finally came out of shock and looked furious. Even more furious than when she talked about their arch-nemesis! “I can’t believe it! I’m in a bidding war with my own partner!”

“Wait, _FashionistaPrincess01_!?” Chat Noir realized, “You’re so persistent! What could possibly be so important that you would spend almost 50 euros on a used fondue fountain!? You know new ones go for like 60, right?”

“Tikki’s set on it for some reason. I think she wants to use it as a Chocolate hot tub or something.” Ladybug rolled her eyes fondly as she thought of her companion, but her determined gaze returned soon after, “And what do you even want with a chocolate fondue fountain? Your Kwami doesn’t even _like_ sweets.”

“You _do_ know it works for cheese too, right? And I think Plagg wants to do the same with Camembert…”

“That sounds like it would smell disgusting,” Ladybug shuddered with disgust as she pictured leaving the already stinky cheese in a hot pan, “Are you sure you actually want to deal with that? I wouldn’t fault you if you decided to step down from the competition.” Ladybug smirked as she gave a conspiratorial wink.

“No way, bug. There’s about an icicle’s chance in Hell that I’m backing down now.” Chat Noir chuckled, “But I suppose I can let you borrow it some weekends. As long as you don’t mind any leftover smell from Plagg’s cheese.”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to win it just so I can make sure that you only put in odorless cheese, like swiss. And that is _if_ I decide to let Plagg have a turn, of course. I am _not_ dealing with any more stinky cheese in my apartment.” Ladybug’s boyfriend loved collecting cheese for some reason that Adrien could never understand. But at the very least the black-clad superhero figured Ladybug’s boyfriend would get along with Plagg if they ever met.

“I’m just saying there is no way I’m losing. You know, after you earn a certain amount of money, it just starts increasing on its own through the investment portfolios. And I happen to have that certain amount of money. There’s no shame in bowing out now that you know what you’re up against.” 

“Mmhmm?” Ladybug was incredibly smug for a future loser, “If you say so, trust fund baby. But we both know I’m not going down without a fight.”

Ladybug then began to overdramatically clutched at her chest, if her heart was broken, “Alas, I just cannot believe you would betray me like this. Is a Fondue Fountain _really_ all it takes to break up our Dynamic Duo?”

“I’m sorry, Milady, but we both knew what we were getting into.” Chat Noir pretended to wipe a fake tear from his eye, refusing to look at her directly, “This is war. Well, bidding war. Our past is now nothing more than a distant memory to me.”

“Very well, just know that even if we become the bitterest of enemies, I will always wonder what could have been if you had stayed.” Ladybug’s hammy acting and over dramatic poses was oddly touching somehow.

“Yes, my traitorous heart never wanted to turn my back on you, but I cannot disobey my new master, Plagg’s appetite.” Chat could barely keep a straight face at this farce, but at least it was Ladybug who gave in first, belly laughing. And Chat couldn’t retrain his own at that point.

“Alright, Chat, I need to head home soon. See you later at Patrol!” Ladybug managed once she finally got control of herself.

“Running away already? I haven’t even brought up your username yet.”

“Oh, shut up. I was like 12 at the time, sue me.”

* * *

Thursdays were of utmost strategic importance for Adrien.

Mostly because the auction ended on Friday at 00:00, and tonight was Ladybug’s solo patrol. Honestly, it was too easy at this point. Adrien couldn’t fault someone for forgetting that _he_ was supposed to be the unlucky one. In a few hours, that Fondue Fountain would be his. The two of them were well over the market price for a _new_ fondue fountain, let alone a used one, but it was a matter of pride now.

Adrien smiled when he imagined Ladybug’s face when she saw his bid while she was out protecting the city. Ladybug was probably red-faced and gritting her hands in anger. Maybe stomping around and shouting—

“That mangy alley cat!” Ladybug shouted outside Adrien’s window. When she climbed through, her face was red and her hands looked like they could crush something in anger. And her very loud steps didn’t make it sound like she was in a very good mood.

Now normally Adrien would have patted himself on the back for getting that spot on, but there was the slight issue of how Ladybug must have been too mad to notice that he was in the room, since she de-transformed into Marinette.

So _yeah_ , that was news.

“Oh my god,” Adrien got up from where he was sitting and started to pace back-and-forth as he processed the information.

“Oh fuck, I can’t believe I did that!” Marinette slapped her forehead, “Um, surprise, sweetie?”

There were a whole lot of things that Adrien imagined saying to his partner when they finally revealed themselves to each other.

“Y-you’re _FashionistaPrincess01_!?” was not one of them. 

“ _Excuse_ _me?_ Is that seriously the first thing you’d think of? Also, how did you even know that username? I’m pretty sure only Chat Noir…” Realization slowly dawned on Marinette, who raised an accusatory finger at Adrien, “ _Feline_Good_!?”

Adrien gave a slow nod, which caused Marinette to bury her face in her hands to hide her embarrassment.

“My own girlfriend! We live together!” Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose, “It didn’t even matter who would win!”

“Excuse you,” Plagg zipped out of Adrien’s pocket, “But I am not letting that sticky chocolate anywhere near my Cheese pool.”

“Wait a minute, does that mean you knew I was bidding against Adrien, Tikki?” Marinette had her Kwami in a vice grip, not that it really meant anything since Tikki could phase out whenever she wanted to. But Tikki did give a guilty nod. “What the heck, Tikki!”

“I’m sorry! But I am _not_ sharing anything with Plagg anymore. He always ends up destroying everything!” Tikki whined.

“Ugh, will you ever let me live that down?” Plagg scoffed, “Just because I accidentally sneezed once and killed the dinosaurs…” 

“And Atlantis! And Archduke Franz Ferdinand—”

“See! She’s always bringing up ancient history.” Plagg tried to garner sympathy from the two he made fools of, but Adrien wasn’t feeling very charitable right now.

“Well, ignoring them,” Adrien pulled his wonderful girlfriend (and apparently his awesome partner) into a hug, “Even if this _was_ less than ideal, I’m still glad it was you. I honestly can’t imagine it being anyone else other than you.”

“Well, this does explain all the sudden, unexplainable disappearances. And the cheese collection, especially considering _you_ hated it as much as I did,” Marinette gently cupped the side of Adrien’s face, “I just can’t believe you were so close and I had no idea. My kitty cat was actually a house cat all along.”

Adrien was busy falling in love with her all over again (After all it was basically just more to love about her) when he felt a vibration in his pocket. At first he ignored it since he thought that his cat traits were making him purr again (and he was), but the blonde figured out the truth soon enough.

“Seriously?” Adrien asked when he pulled it out, just to see that Marinette had taken advantage of the romantic moment to bid on the fondue fountain.

“What can I say? I may love you but I still won’t lose,” Marinette giggled shamelessly, which was honestly super cute. Actually, Marinette had always been a bit of a sore winner, just like Ladybug.

He really should have seen the signs sooner.

“Yeah, no,” Adrien outbid her, “I can’t let you pay for all that. It’s way too expensive at this point. Plus I’m the so-called ‘Trust Fund Baby’.”

“Okay, but hear me out,” Marinette placed the press bid button, “What if you just gave me half the amount and we can share it 50/50.”

“Counterpoint,” Adrien pressed the button on his phone, “You give me the half and our Kwamis don’t get any for putting us through all this.”

That one was met with three unique objections.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean I wanted to make an enemies AU, but there's already a lot of them and I didn't really feel like expanding past a One Shot. So enjoy the kinda Enemies AU!
> 
> Also I have a [tumblr](https://is-nino-actually-luka.tumblr.com/) now! I don't talk about writing there much, but I do post a lot about my crack conspiracy theory that Luka and Nino are actually the same character. 
> 
> Please take a look at it if you're free. I want more people to see my jokes!


End file.
